First time message online dating sample
The reason I advocate my original line is that it is more complex than just simply saying "Hey" or "What's up", but it's not too outrageous that it will turn a girl off. Maybe there's a way to get the to respond to a first message, but I think they have a lot of anxiety about in general.I just try to get their attention in the first message instead of writing a long winded specific message about something in their profile. They don’t know you, they haven’t met you face-to-face, and they don’t want to get stuck on a bad date. In my research, I’ve found that a woman’s #1 fear online is that a guy will be awkward, creepy, or intense in-person.I know this has been discussed on the ok cupid thread but that thread is vast and a summary on this specific question would be useful. A quick cold-read of their ethnic background works decently for me at getting replies. Recently I've been accusing them of looking like trouble. Wit plays well regardless, but fine-tuning your messages improve your response rate.
Therefore, I have made it my mission over the last year to really decipher the online dating code. Your only goal in the first message is to assure her that you’re a normal guy.
I’m exaggerating the stereotype of someone with a ton of sass in a humorous light.
I noticed how pronounced her dimples were and I genuinely thought they were adorable, so I told her.
I will say this though, if it's a dating site that has in its messaging service a subject line, I like to put a cliff hanger in there as a way of practically guaranteeing she reads my message. One that ALWAYS ensured a reply back was "I hope you aren't racist". I guess they always replied so that they could validate themselves somewhat so that they don't feel guilty or racist if they didn't reply. I go back and forth on whether asking a question or making a statement is a better opener. Maybe there's a way to get the to respond to a first message, but I think they have a lot of anxiety about in general.
So rather than type "hey Anna" or something generic like that I might type, "I noticed that..." And then continue the statement in the body of your message. I just try to get their attention in the first message instead of writing a long winded specific message about something in their profile. Tailoring messages to each girl's profile is the way to go.
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Some respond well to cocky, edgy openers some see right through that and call you out. Drone- this is the hardest for me because these girls want to keep everything boring and their profiles give you nothing to work with.